Do I like every single aspect of my fat body? No. But hey, guess what, did you know that nobody does? You didn't? Well, guess what again? Now you do. However, by and large, me and my big, squishy, fat body are pretty cool amigos.
I love being fat.
Living in a diet and beauty culture that isn't always the easiest thing to do either. We live in a society where it is anticipated, no, demanded of us that if we are fat; our greatest priority should be to lose weight. Well, I can't speak for every fat woman in the world but I can speak for myself. And, let me tell you, losing weight takes a really low place in my priorities right now.
Don't get me wrong, I do want to lose weight. However, when I do lose weight, I still want to be fat. I know, shocking right? As far as priorities go my biggest ones right now are: taking care of myself spiritually and mentally, building better relationships with my family which included my mother, Mary, my father, Michael, and my sister (who is an annoyingly five years older than me) Tiffany, repairing the bonds of love between me and my significant other, Tianna, and finally getting some of my fiction published. Being able to fit in smaller clothes doesn't even hit the top ten of crap I'd rather be doing with my life right now.
But Rachel, you're fat! Aren't you worried about how this will negatively impact every avenue of your life??? Some may ask that. But gee, last time I checked; my family loves me unconditionally, my partner thinks my body is a proverbial wonderland, my professors don't give two craps about my weight, I'm healthy aside from having asthma which I was diagnosed with as a child back when I was a little wisp of a thing. So, that being said, aside from having days when I look in the mirror and see a gelatinous blob instead of a sexy fat girl; my fat actually has a pretty positive impact on my life.
My fat makes me soft, which makes me feel more feminine, more womanly, which automatically makes me feel sexier and more comfortable within my own skin. My fat makes me jiggly which, when it comes to rolling around in the hay, is freaking awesome. My fat has put me on the receiving end of a lot of hate which has not only made me a stronger person, but also more compassionate and empathetic toward my fellow humans. My body has carried me throughout my entire life and I spent a large portion of my life hating it and mistreating it. However, when I finally came around, after years of neglect and abuse my body was still here and it loved me for all that I was and wasn't.
My fat makes me feel like I can conquer the world because I know, that simply because I am fat, I will have so many people working to fight against me. It will probably be a long time before people stop looking down on me for my weight. As the years simultaneously inch and leap forward, I'm sure that there will still be days where I am told that I should lose weight because I'm fat. Not for my health, not for the longevity of my life, but because for some crazy reason; fat is just the worst thing any human being can be. But that's alright, I've never been one to back down in the face of adversity. I have days when I hate my body, but like any couple, we metaphorically kiss and make up, we move on, get over it, and continue to love one another.
I'm not "glorifying obesity" or "promoting an unhealthy lifestyle," all I'm saying is that I have one message" if you have a body, love it. Short, sweet, simple, and to the point. If you want to lose weight, do it because it'll make you happy. If you want to eat a pizza, do it because it'll make you happy. Be mindful of your health, that's all I ask. As for the fat shamers that make people feel like sh#t for their weight, what you fail to realize is that health is far more than just physical, and by damaging someone's emotional, mental, or spiritual health all for the thinly veiled, malicious "concern" for someone's physical health: you are the ones promoting an unhealthy lifestyle.
mic drop
artist: Tyiama Turner
This picture was drawn for me by my partner's cousin, she posted it to Facebook for me and wrote me the sweetest message. I look at this picture about once a day, and I'm determined to live my life by this message: don't let anyone dull your sparkle. Why should I diminish myself so others may shine? Why should you?
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